I’m in the May 2012 Issue of Glamour Magazine

May 2012 Glamour Magazine 768x1024 Im in the May 2012 Issue of Glamour Magazine

According to a recent Pew Research Center study, only 51% of adults today are married compared with 72% in 1960.

According to government data, more than half of births to women under 30 are out of wedlock.

I’ve written about this before - how despite these statistics, it seems that our choice not to marry still makes people we know, young and old, uncomfortable with our decision.

“I don’t know what to call you.”

“Er, this is Matt’s….(awkwardly trails off)”

Should you ever find yourself meeting me for the first time, or introducing me to an acquaintance, you are free to call me by my first name, Matt’s girlfriend, baby-mama, or partner. “Wife” seems to be the popular title of choice as it appears to make most people more comfortable.

Faith in Marriage Glamour Im in the May 2012 Issue of Glamour Magazine

I was interviewed for the May 2012 issue of Glamour magazine for an article about having faith in marriage. 

(Please note I could care less about celebrity marriages/divorces.)

My intention is not to offend nor disrespect any of my married friends. I love weddings and respect your decision to wed in the same way I expect you to respect my decision not to. I have friends who are married because it’s either a religious or family tradition, or they view it as the ultimate commitment.

I was the never the type of girl who fantasized about my wedding, and it just isn’t something I see in my immediate future.

I adore my partner, my growing family and feel happy, loved and secure.

I invite you to read the article and look forward to hearing your reasons for wedding or not. 

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 Im in the May 2012 Issue of Glamour Magazine

Choosing Not to Marry: Are We a Nontraditional Family?

Pixalated Family 300x225 Choosing Not to Marry: Are We a Nontraditional Family?

The latest issue of Parents Magazine features an article on “The New American Family”. The article is broken up into four sections – diversity, living with grandparents, marriage, and waiting to have kids later in life, along with a few additional fun facts.

The part that resonated with me is the section titled “Choosing not to marry”, which states that only 21% of American households are married couples with children, compared against 43% in 1950. The 2011 figure seems a bit low, but maybe that doesn’t account for many things including widows (ers) and kids who have left home?

The experts cited in the article point to pop culture icons like Brangelina and growing up in nontraditional extended families as reasons why the Millennial Generation (born between 1981 and 2000) views partners over spouses as being more important. Though I haven’t noticed this yet, marketers are also apparently placing moms and dads separately into ads, without wedding rings, surrounded by their kids.

If this is true  - that more people in that age group with kids are choosing not to marry – why then are so many people still uncomfortable with that notion?

I (we) have chosen not to marry for a variety of reasons I won’t share here, but I will say that I (we) am (are) very happy! The Child is growing up in a happy home with parents that love her and one another tremendously.

I don’t mean to offend anyone or diss the sanctity of marriage. (I grew up in a very Catholic household.)  I think marriage is a beautiful thing, it’s just not for me. This isn’t to say that I may never change my mind, but at this time and for the foreseeable future I am happy with the way things are – genuinely.

I used to craft my words carefully to make those around me more comfortable. I would use phrases like “her dad” or “my partner” to avoid saying “my boyfriend”, until I realized how absolutely ridiculous that is. I still notice a few friends and acquaintances who choose to say “significant other” instead of “her boyfriend” when talking about Manfriend or doing an introduction. Why is that?

I tend to laugh it off or make a joke about my baby daddy to lift the awkward air, but lately, I’ve tried to beat people to the punch by using that dreaded word – BOYFRIEND.

If TV ads and shows like “Modern Family” are pointing to more “nontraditional” families, why are certain people around me still uncomfortable or dare I say unhappy with my decision? And what the heck is a nontraditional family, anyway?